So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize