Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I need water and some morals
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
