It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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