Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Your cock deserves a montage
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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