The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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