I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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