Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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