Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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