I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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