Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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