And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
