A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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