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Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm always down for nudity.
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