I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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