I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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