you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
