In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
