Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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