I hate your face
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
