I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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