I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
