It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
