They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
