I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have feelings that need drinking.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
