I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
