so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
