he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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