I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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