Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
