what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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