So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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