I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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