Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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