Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
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Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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