Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
