Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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