"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
