that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
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Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
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You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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