your thong is hanging out like whoa
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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