He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
foreskin is a definite game changer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
