do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
