It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
