the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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