They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
