So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?