You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.