This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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