Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.