when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I need to calm my uterus...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.