Where are you?
In a non slutty way
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize