a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
