who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
