Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
