That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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