he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
