It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
