trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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