found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
