I must be too annoying 4 u.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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