my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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