He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this will be a night to untag.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
