I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
